vampires, spaceships, and fantastical worlds—the tales of L.E. Teetzel

Welcome!

This month, I found myself thinking about what someone once told me: that time seems to speed up as you age because each day, month, year makes up less and less of your life as you live through more of them. I’m not old by any means—I’m turning 36 on Sunday—but even I can tell that time used to feel… more? (My mind then spirals through the fact that the way we measure time is a construct and that there is, in fact, actually no more or less time available to me, and then I start thinking about how we only perceive time the way we do because people ages ago decided we should and there’s no real way to divorce yourself from it while still existing in society… SIGH.)

Anyway, this is to say while I did get stuff done this month, it still doesn’t feel like enough. Which is stupid, but dismantling my associations between worth and productivity is still a work in progress. I did get stuff done this month and I feel really good about it! And that’s what I’m going to focus on!

I’m also going to focus on the fact that May is not only the launch of my book, An Errant Ray of Sunlight, but it’s my birthday month too! I celebrate every year by doing something special for myself every day of May. I don’t expect anyone else to celebrate my birthday month (but I won’t deny that I would love it if people did 😂). I eat my favourite foods, hang out with friends, usually buy lots of books (when don’t I do that?), and just generally focus on making myself joyful more than every day stuff, if that makes sense.

This year, Birthday Month is set to include: the beginnings of a bookshelf back tattoo; hanging with friends in their apartment after getting said tattoo started to eat food and watch movies and chat about this, that, and everything in between; going to see Thunderbolts* with my best MCU friend; eating my favourite pad thai at least once (I so rarely get it); getting mochi and mango treats from a local café; and hopefully a few days where I can make a nest and read next to an open window while it rains. I’ll get a cake or pie at some point regardless of whether or not someone buys/makes me one, or I buy/make myself one, and I’ll just do my best to enjoy everything the month brings. The reasons I started doing Birthday Month are kind of sad, but it’s turned into an annual tradition for me and maybe it seems selfish to some people, but I look forward to it every year.

And starting this year, I plan to release a book on my birthday every year, because I never want to hate my birthday. Getting old is a beautiful privilege and it makes me genuinely sad when people start dreading their birthdays. I never want to feel that way. Does that make sense? I genuinely don’t know, but sometimes feelings defy explanation.

Anyway!

April in the Rearview

This month also felt like it went by in a blink, but I did get to do some really cool stuff!

Ninja Sex Party came back to Toronto on tour for the first time since 2017, which was when I was first introduced to my favourite band, TWRP. TWRP opened for NSP and also acts as their backing band when they’re on tour (and in the studio a lot of time). I always love seeing TWRP live, and while NSP isn’t everyone’s jam, and isn’t even always my jam, they put on a hell of a show, the audience is always super energetic, and it was a blast! The fact that my friend and I ended up getting free tickets because of a generous and kind fan who could no longer make the show was just a cherry on top too. We were all set to pay him for the tickets after he transferred them to us, and then he told us not to worry about it when we asked him what the total was—just told us to have a great time!

It was one of those moments where you really feel the kindness from other people who share an interest with you and it made my fucking day. I doubt I’ll ever have any way of thanking him in person, but it really was such a surprise (and I love [good] surprises) and a gesture I’ll never forget.

I also went to another concert this month (last night, in fact) at the same venue. Last night I went to see Djo (Joe Keery from Stranger Things‘s band), and while I was dreading driving to Toronto (more on that in a minute), the concert was so much fun and so worth the drive. Keery is an excellent showman, was playing so well to the crowd, and just so clearly having a blast playing with his friends and former band mates (Post Animal, who opened for Djo, and were also excellent) and current band. Obviously, he’s also an actor, so he has the skills to project a persona or play a role on stage, but his joy and love of music was palpable. Made for such a great concert. I ended up buying a VIP ticket in the ticket-buying craziness, and got a pair of slippers in my VIP merch bundle which is perhaps the most unique item I’ve ever received from a concert.

They fit and are comfy—it’s just a shame I don’t wear slippers usually.

I completed the piercings I wanted this month too: two more lobe piercings on my left ear and two helix piercings on my right ear. So now, between my nose and ears, I have ten piercings, and I have a thing about the number five, so that’s where I’m stopping. I also don’t want anymore piercings right now. My ears are still aching (the new ones aren’t even a week old yet) but I love them so much I can’t wait until I can get the jewellery I want in the new holes.

But the drive up to Toronto for the new ear holes was AWFUL, hence why I was dreading driving to Toronto again yesterday. So why did I do it when I could have taken the GO train in? Well, because I decided to take it as a challenge since I was afraid of driving in downtown Toronto and now I know I can do it, and because I didn’t want to spend the extra 3ish hours total to take the train in and out. Honestly, driving all the way in would probably be a bit cheaper if I crunched the numbers. But mostly I did it as a challenge for myself because every once in a while I decide I’m going to do something that terrifies me and when I make that decision I don’t usually change my mind.

I’m an anxious thing, but sometimes the Taurus/ancestral Scottish blood shows through and I get real stubborn.

Even when it’s only to my own doubts.

Wish I could turn it on and off on command. Especially with writing.

From the Story Files

The biggest news is obviously that An Errant Ray of Sunlight is coming out in a few days (on Sunday!), so I spent much of this month working on the last touches. I got the book back from my proofreader and went through her wonderful and insightful flags, and then spent an inordinate amount of time making sure the ebook and paperback files were as perfect as I could make them. A benefit of self-publishing means I get to be as picky as I want to be with how my books end up looking. Some might also say this is a downside since I think I had to reupload the files three times before I was happy with the digital proofs from Amazon and Ingram.

But it looks great and I’m SO excited for it to go out into the world this weekend.

Terrified, but excited.

I can’t wait for people to read it.

I also started working on another novella set in the same universe as Icarus (and some future stories too 👀) that I’m really loving. It’s a sci-fi/horror (my favourite genre) and, if it works out, will also be the first thing I’ve published with any spice in it, which is a whole different kind of nerve-wracking. I’m having a lot of fun working on it though and hope to have it in readers’ hands later this year.

The sequel to An Errant Ray of Sunlight is also something I’ve been poking away at. Obviously it’s just the the beginning stages right now, but finally getting to expand on this world I started so long ago (I first started working on what would become An Errant Ray of Sunlight in university, like… a really long time ago) is really special and fun and exciting.

I’m still working on getting back to writing every day so I can drafts done quicker, but it’s been a long time since I felt this good about original stuff. Hopefully soon I’ll have some titles and info about these two projects to share!

I also plan to make a post specifically about An Errant Ray of Sunlight for Sunday, but we know how well I’ve been doing with posts lately, so cross you fingers I can get my shit together enough to actually get that done.

In My Eyeballs and Earholes

Books

I actually read a few romance novels this month: The Flatshare and The No-Show by Beth O’Leary and Emily Henry’s newest, Great Big Beautiful Life. Emily Henry is 100% for her books making me cry (I still have to read two of her YA novels, but everything else has brought tears to my eyes), and I’ve been making my way through Beth O’Leary’s works too. I’m pretty picky about romance I read for fun (probably because I read so much of it for work), but these two are auto-read authors for me, and I preorder all of Emily Henry’s books because I love them so much. I don’t like Beth O’Leary’s books quite as much but they have a charm all their own and I really do enjoy the more quirky edge to her stories.

I also started reading The Seven-Year Slip by Ashley Poston and while I haven’t finished it yet, I know she’s about to become an auto-read/auto-buy author for me too because I’m loving it so far.

I finally read Sisters of the Vast Black and Sisters of the Forsaken Stars by Lina Rather, two novellas I’ve had on my shelf since they came out. I love me a living ship and a weird little sci-fi tale and, as with a lot of novellas, I wanted full novels because I wanted more of the world. I always want more of worlds I like because world-building is my favourite thing.

I’m trying to read more nonfiction, and this month I did Everything is Tuberculosis by John Green. I’ve been a fan of John Green’s books since I read Looking for Alaska years ago, and though I haven’t read them all, I was eager to dig into this one. It’s not often we get a nonfiction book like this from a fiction author, and after having seen a bunch of John Green’s videos on TB on YouTube and Instagram, I was curious to see what exactly this book would be. It was an interesting mix of history, science, random facts, and biography, and I found it not only interesting, but entertaining and thought-provoking too.

The last of the books I read for fun outside work this month were Carry On by Rainbow Rowell, which I loved but was very disappointed by the sequel and in fact DNF’d it and didn’t even bother with the third one, Bunny by Mona Award, which was weird and creepy but didn’t really strike a chord with me, and Vampires Never Die, an anthology of vampire tales, which just proved to me that short stories really are not my jam because I struggled with these even though I love vampires. My favourite part of the anthology (aside from V.E. Schwab’s “First Kill”) were the little bits the editors added after each story talking about vampire lore.

I’m currently reading A Letter From a Lonesome Shore by Syvlie Cathrall, the sequel to A Letter to the Luminous Deep, an epistolary novel that surprised the hell out of me and climbed right into my heart last year, and Gideon the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir. FINALLY. I’ve had the first three books of The Locked Tomb series on my shelf for AGES (like many of the books I own) and I finally decided to jump in. I am loving both so far. May will likely also include more romances since I just… bought… a stack…

Movies

Like everyone else, I saw Sinners and absolutely fucking loved it. I’m still thinking about the movie, actually. Can’t stop thinking about it. Like I’ve said many times, I love vampires. I love seeing different takes on vampires. I love seeing how authors and filmmakers and artists make vampires their own. And Sinners has so many layers woven in and around the vampire lore… God, it was so good. Instantly went onto my list of all-time favourite movies. I happy I made a drive to see this in a theatre and hope I get to see it in a theatre again before it’s gone.

Outside of the theatre, I had myself a movie day and watched Ash, The Gorge, Mickey 17, and Novocaine. All of which were extremely my jam and enjoyable as hell. Ash is a trippy space horror and you know I love that genre. Aaron Paul gave an awesome performance and the neon colours and synthy music spoke to my soul. The Gorge was an action/romance with a sci-fi twist and I was here for all of it. The romance had me giddy smiling and the sci-fi twist was weird and cool and just different enough from other things to make me excited. Mickey 17 was not what I expected, though truth be told, I didn’t really know what to expect. I love that Robert Pattison is just thriving playing weird little guys and I hope he never stops. Also a super off-putting turn from Mark Ruffalo, but I think that was mostly the teeth. Keep giving me weird sci-fi, especially set in space. Novocaine was the only movie on my movie day that wasn’t sci-fi, but I love Jack Quaid and his role in this movie was perfect. Gory and brutal and just, so much fun (except for the fingernail stuff—why is that the only thing that gets me?).

It was a really fun movie day. I need to stop waiting so long before I do those.

And I need to do them to keep working on my blog posts.

Let’s add “more movie days” to the Birthday Month celebrations.

(I also rewatched all the Hunger Games movies but I don’t remember if that was in March or April. Regardless, I love them and they’re some of my favourite book-to-movie adaptations.)

Video Games

It’s been a steady rotation of Dreamlight Valley, Coral Island, and Blue Prince this month. All while listening to My Favourite Murder (I’m almost caught up and I don’t know what I’ll do when I don’t have anymore episodes to listen to and I have to wait for the next ones).

Blue Prince was my birthday present from my brother and I am not usually a fan of rougelites, but the puzzle aspect was too much to pass up, and I like that there’s no time limit. You can just sort of vibe through it, and since I don’t care about trophies or whatever, I’m just having fun with it. I also don’t have an issue looking hints or solutions up if I get really stuck with something because I’ve stopped expecting every puzzle to make sense to my neurodivergent brain. The music, lore, and visuals in the game are awesome and while the puzzles are hard and I’ve found some solutions before the puzzle, I’m really enjoying it.

Coral Island is really pretty and a solid farm sim, but I’ll be honest and say I picked it from a large variety as a farm sim to play on PS5 since I often run into walls with Dreamlight Valley and have to wait for the next patch or star path to have much to do. Nothing wrong with that, because I’m certainly getting my money’s worth out of it. Coral Island doesn’t really do anything innovative, but it’s a lot of fun and I’m determined to make Mark from the game my character’s husband.

I think I might start a new Mass Effect or Dragon Age playthrough in May, and there will definitley be some The Sims 4, both because the streamer lilsimsie does a fundraiser for St. Jude Children’s Hospital every year and there will a shell challenge to complete. Not to mention I still want to build stuff from my novel in The Sims 4.

Music

I followed through with what I said last month and started only listening to music when I drive, and with all the driving to Toronto I did this month, that meant a lot of singing at the top of my lungs. Which was so fun and cathartic and such a great way to get through traffic.

I didn’t really listen to anything new, but I did throw a lot of music I hadn’t listened to in a long time on my playlist like Adele and Ed Sheeran and Taylor Swift and classic rock so I could really sing my lungs out. My playlist otherwise is mostly TWRP, The Midnight, Djo, Chappell Roan, and random songs from old Discovery Weekly playlists.

My goal for May is to listen some music I haven’t listened to before and really refresh my Current Jams list.

Parting Thoughts

Time is soup, I have too many hobbies and projects, tomorrow is that start of Birthday Month, and my first novel releases in 5 days.

I’m fine. It’s fine.

That’s it for this month! Take it easy, hot dogs! 💙