vampires, spaceships, and fantastical worlds—the tales of L.E. Teetzel

Welcome!

May did not go as I hoped it would, but that’s okay. Nothing terrible happened—just my stupid brain deciding it hadn’t messed with me enough in a while and making up for that in a rush. (I’m a little sorry if you don’t care or want to read about mental health stuff. It is, unfortunately, a big part of my life and I don’t believe in pretending it’s not, especially because I would love for mental health–related stigmas to go away.) So instead of celebrating my birthday and book launch all month, May turned into a lot more rest, self-reflection, and figuring out ways to re-regulate my anxiety and cortisol levels.

I did still get to do some fun stuff this month and hang out with friends, and obviously my debut novel, An Errant Ray of Sunlight, came out, which was so exciting and it still feels weird that it’s out in the world and people are reading it.

If you wanted to pick up a copy, you can find links here! And if you do read it, please leave a review and tell your friends. 😁

One of my goals going forward is to get better at marketing but??? Marketing is so far outside my wheelhouse and natural inclinations that I don’t really know how to start getting better. But we’ll see what happens, I guess.

We’re going into summer, which is my least favourite season, but I’m trying to just enjoy the not-yet-hot weather while we still have it and focusing on getting myself back on my loose routine and making my environments (aka, bedroom, office, and bathroom 😂) more comfortable and refreshed. This includes redoing my bookshelves which is… an undertaking. But I’ve only just started and I’m already feeling a little more settled. So here’s hoping June is a little calmer than May and my brain is a little quieter and I can get a little more done.

May in the Rearview

So the month started out as it normally does for me: excitement about my birthday and lofty ideas of what I was gonna do over the course of the month. My birthday passed without much fanfare (this is what happens when you’re basically a hermit and all your closest friends either live two hours away or have children) and my mind was mostly on my book launch anyway. My brother did buy me a burger for dinner though, and ate a lot of ice cream. I was equal parts excited and nervous and spent the day somewhere between screaming with joy and throwing up. Like I said in my post on launch day, it’s wild that people can just buy the book and read it now and I still don’t think it’s fully set in.

Not sure it ever will, to be honest.

After the launch though, I suddenly started feeling extremely exhausted and adrift and spent most of the rest of the month trying to feel normal. I went to Toronto the weekend after my birthday, started my big back tattoo, hung out with friends, and saw Thunderbolts*, and then came home and the rest of May sort of passed in a blur. Aside from my brother’s dog tearing apart my box spring, mattress protector, and fitted sheet in an attempt to get at my cat who was hiding in said box spring, nothing bad happened. It was just a lot of not really knowing what to do with myself now that An Errant Ray of Sunlight isn’t occupying every single cell of grey matter at every second of the day.

I was prepared for a little bit of a downswing after the book came out, but it hit me way harder than anticipated. I’m medicated for depression and anxiety, but I felt both way more than I have in a while, which was a hit to my mood and sense of… progression and productivity, maybe? I had and still have a lot that I want to get done that didn’t get done in May, but when I realized the feelings weren’t going to go away quickly, I did my best to make peace with the fact that these things weren’t going to get done in May and that was okay. Even if I wasn’t happy about it, it was okay. It is okay.

So, there’s really not much to report, honestly, other than it was a rough month but I’m doing better and am not going to let it get me down.

From the Story Files

First up, An Errant Ray of Sunlight. I’ve sold roughly 50 copies of the book, and that’s halfway to my goal of selling at least 100. Is it a small goal? Yes, but I always start with small goals. I am not publishing my work with the intent of making a lot of money (at least not right now). I’m mostly just interested in getting it out into the world and hoping it finds its people. I’m still writing mostly for myself and the fact that others get to read it too and I might make a little bit of money off it, is just a bonus.

Now, onto the next project.

The title of my next novella is… Gravity Well.

It’s a sci-fi/horror with a tinge of romance. Sci-fi/horromance? About two researchers on a small ship who get stuck in the gravity well of a small black hole that appears out of nowhere. It’s set in the same universe as Icarus, but much further in the future. I refer to this universe as Helios, for reasons that will become apparent once I get around to writing some different books, but you don’t have to have read Icarus to read Gravity Well. I love world-building and when you spend a lot of time developing a universe, it feels like a shame to only tell one story in said universe.

I’ll have more to share next month, but I’m hoping to get the novella out this year. For now, here are some vibes:

In My Eyeballs and Earholes

Books

I finished A Letter From the Lonesome Shore, which was as charming as the first. I want more cozy sci-fi like, yesterday. I also read The Seven-Year Slip by Ashley Poston, which I loved so much. I am absolutely here for romance with speculative twists like a time-travelling apartment. I could not put this book down. It was so sweet and sexy and just UGH. Loved it. Definitely going to read more of Poston’s books. I also read all seven of the Bergman Brothers novels by Chloe Liese, all of which were very sweet and I love some interconnected romance stories, especially if they also involve found family. I also deeply admire her mission of writing romance including people with various disabilities, neurodivergences, and other features not shown in a lot of romance novels.

I’m also still reading Gideon the Ninth. With my mental state the way it was this past month, romance was more the order of things. Gideon the Ninth is a phenomenal book and I’m very much looking forward to finally finishing it. I’m also reading Full Speed to a Crash Landing by Beth Revis which is just fucking DELIGHTFUL.

I’ve got Northanger Abbey by Jane Austen on the docket too for a book club/read-along I’m taking part in for the rest of the year, and The Once and Future Witches by Alix E. Harrow. I don’t know what else I’ll read in June, but I’m aiming to keep up the pace. I’m really enjoying finally going through a bunch of the books I own and haven’t read. Feels like I’m accomplishing something.

Movies

As I said above, I saw Thunderbolts* with my MCU friend for my birthday, and was actually blown away by how good it was and how well it handled mental health. I have two essays I wanna write after seeing it, so we’ll just… add… them… to the pile. SIGH.

I also rewatched Knives Out and Glass Onion for a little comfort.

I did not in fact have any movie days like I wanted to, but hopefully I can remedy that. I have a lot of movie-related stuff I wanna write.

I need more time. Or arms.

Video Games

I started a new Mass Effect playthrough with my main girl, Jagher Shepard, but that was pretty much the only video gaming I did other than some more Coral Island and Disney Dreamlight Valley. Again, the brain was not braining.

Music

Only new music I managed this month was to finally listen to some Sleep Token. Otherwise, it was the same music on my Current Jams playlist, which I did not update. Sleep Token is awesome though.

Parting Thoughts

Despite the fact that the month was not what I wanted it to be, it was a good reminder to listen to your body and mind and take a break when you need one or your body will take one for you, and that it is okay to not be super productive or to miss a deadline that your placed far too close to the launch of your book.

I’m sorry there wasn’t much in the May update. Hopefully I’ll have more exciting stuff to write about at the end of June and that there will be more essays in between.

That’s it for this month! Take it easy, hot dogs! 💙