vampires, spaceships, and fantastical worlds—the tales of L.E. Teetzel

Season 2 LET’S GOOOOOOO!!!

Reminder that I’m watching the episodes in the order they air on Paramount+, just in case there’s any discrepancy from the order you’re familiar with!

And my proofreader note: Star Trek without italics is referring to the franchise as a whole, Star Trek TOS or TOS with italics is referring to the show itself, and “Episode Titles” are in quotation marks! Except for the in the title of the section. If that makes sense.

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Season 2, Episode 1: Amok Time

1. The whole ritual surrounding Pon Farr is so… sadfghjkl to me, you know? Like, I get that it’s supposed to the one part of their primal/base natures that they couldn’t conquer with logic and reason and all that, but there’s still so much about it that doesn’t jive with what we know of the Vulcan culture. Or what we can infer, anyway. Like, why would a logical species consider their spouses property still? Why would they allow challenges to be fought? (Kirk being picked is such a WTF moment.) I wish they’d explained more about this part of the Vulcan culture. I’m sure it’s been elaborated on in future series and I’m not remembering, but I guess we’ll find out. For now, this is just such a dramatic event (probably would be way less dramatic for any other species who wasn’t so ruled by logic), and feels so different than anything Vulcan-related we’ve seen until this point. It’s a banger episode to start off season 2 with.
2. The music in this episode is a little grating at times, but it stands out more than the music in any other episode so far which I thought was cool, especially for an important episode like this one. Important to the characters, I mean. A lot of the music is almost sinister at times, which reinforces that something is very wrong with Spock, something we don’t know or understand. As much as I don’t like the battle music (even though it’s iconic), I can really respect what was done in this episode.
3. Also, this is the first time we’re seeing Chekov, which is awesome—the whole team is together!—and I think this is the first “Live long and prosper” we get which is just, one of the most iconic lines from Star Trek, I think, so that’s cool. It and the hand sign were some of the first things I associated with Star Trek and started to emulate. I used to tape my fingers into the sign and I spent a long time training my hands to be able to do it. For no particular reason other than I wanted to be able to flash it at a moment’s notice. I was a weird kid, but from someone who wanted to be the Enterprise when she grew up, this isn’t really that shocking.

9 strange silver tunics out of 10.

Season 2, Episode 2: Who Mourns for Adonais?

1. I do not like this episode. First of all, we get the antiquated notion that a woman would have to leave Starfleet after getting married (sometimes I have to remind myself that the show was filmed in the 1960s and while it’s extremely progressive for the time, there are bits like that stick around), and then we have to deal with the absolute jackass who thinks he’s Apollo on the planet’s surface. Not to mention the sparkly neon togas/robes. Just. Ugh. Not the best episode.
2. HOWEVER I do like that Scotty got to be more central to this episode, and that everyone pretty much is hugely skeptical of Apollo’s claims to godhood, AND that they weaken him with laughter and disbelief. Basically this asks what would more advanced humans do when faced with a god? I don’t like that they shoehorned captial-G god in there, but again, it was the 1960s.
3. My favourite part of this episode is the idea put forth that the gods of other religions, the gods that have recognizable human forms, were aliens visiting early humans. I like that intersection of magic and science (it’s part of the reason I like the first Thor movie). I also like that they don’t say the aliens created anything or influenced humanity in any way, just that they visited and the humans looked at them and thought “wow they must be a deity,” which honestly, makes sense.

3 giant green hands out of 10.

Season 2, Episode 3: The Changeling

1. It would be terrifying to head to your next destination and find an entire species just… gone. And then to get attacked by something mysterious you don’t understand. I think a lot of the scarier aspects of space travel and of the show in general gets overlooked because Star Trek is not a horror show, but so many episodes could so easily be pivoted into horror. I personally would love some Star Trek horror in any series. There’s so much potential and, as stated in other posts (and maybe the last Star Trek one too) I love sci-fi/horror so much. I think the integral optimism of the Star Trek franchise could still be maintain in a well-done horror setting. I want it so bad, and this episode is just making me want it more.
2. The premise of this episode, that an Earth probe acquires intelligence by merging with alien tech, is basically the same as the beginning of Star Trek: The Motion Picture, where one of the Voyager probes acquires intelligence. Other stuff happens (that is similar to the season 1 episode “Where No Man Has Gone Before.” I said that in my thoughts about that episode too. I could be misremembering, but I guess we’ll find out when I get to the movies after season 3 of TOS.
3. Nomad is, I think, one of the scariest things they’ve encountered so far, and it’s out of its sheer ignorance of organic beings and of the mistake it made in adopting a version of the alien probe it merged with. And the fact that it considers “biological units” inferior. This episode also has one of the higher body counts. Six people died, and only one came back. Lots of people die in Star Trek but like… it hits harder in this one.

8 Nomad suspending strings out of 10.

Season 2, Episode 4: Mirror, Mirror

1. TIME FOR MIRROR UNIVERSE!!! I love that the first thing the team notices when they step off the transporter and realize they’re not in Kansas anymore is Spock’s beard. There’s even a zoom in and it’s hilarious. Almost as hilarious as Kirk’s sleeveless tunic and the crop feminine uniform. I’m choosing to focus on humour here because similar to doppleganger episodes, alternate universe episodes always stress me out. I love reading the novels and stories set in the Mirror Universe, and I do love the episodes because it’s fun to see what’s different and how the characters are changed, but there’s too much anxiety waiting for the resolution.
2. I love the care put into making it clear just how different this universe is. The automatic violence, the term agonizer—a tool that everyone carriers—the alarming similarities between the salute the crew gives Kirk and the Nazi salute… Clearly this is not a good, happy, or peaceful universe, and it takes Kirk, McCoy, Uhura, and Scotty all of 0.5 seconds to realize they’re in trouble (and surprising little time to figure out exactly what was going on; they could have easily spent the whole episode figuring out how/why they ended up where they eneded up). Kirk also shows his skills as he navigates the situation without rising too much suspicion. Even the way they decorates and shoot the ship set is just different enough to be unsettling. This episode is so, so well done. What an intro to what would become a Star Trek constant.
3. Everyone also deserves props for playing two versions of their characters, even if it’s only for a short time. Everyone is convincing as a different version of themselves, and they all manage to keep the tension extremely high the whole time. This episode is honestly incredible.

10 sparkly gold sashes out of 10.

BONUS: If you like Star Trek and haven’t read the Mirror Universe series of short story collections and novels, I really, really recommend it! They’re some of my favourite Star Trek stories I’ve ever read (except Imzadi).

Season 2, Episode 5: The Apple

1. Everything on this planet wants to kill them! And like I know it’s not funny but it’s funny because of the 1960s effects and props and low-budget nature of things. The rock Spock breaks is clearly styrofoam. I don’t care, obviously, but it just makes the whole thing a tinge more ridiculous that it should. I mean along with the fact that everything escalates just so fast. It’s CHAOS. Something to be said for the “nothing is as it seems” and “too good to be true” since they keep referring to the planet as paradise.
2. The indigenous life on the planet and their connection to Vaal are both so interesting, as the people obviously have no real knowledge of violence even though the whole freaking planet is apparently naturally violent, and Vaal is very clearly also not what they seem. The people can’t love, can’t procreate. They just… exist. To serve Vaal, apparently. Clearly something is up and cearly Vaal is somehow controlling these people. (The sidestepping around saying “sex” in this episode is hilarious.) What Vaal didn’t count on was the crew coming and unintentionally violating the prime directive (which doesn’t seem super concrete yet anyway) all over the place. But in this case, like many where the rule is broken, it ends up being for the best, since the people are allowed once more to evolve and live.
3. Also it occurs to me that there are rarely children in TOS, unless they are integral to the plot, and even then I can only think of one episode where they’re central. And only maybe two other episodes where they show up at all. I’m assuming this had more to do with labour laws and/or not wanting to work with kids or being able to provide the extra things needed for kids on set (I am not familiar with the state of child acting in the 1960s) than not being able to think of stories featuring kids, but it’s a weird thing to notice. One thing you’d think Starfleet scientists would want to study is the cultural aspects of new cultures, which would include family, friendly, and romantic relationships in addition to the more scientific aspects. Honestly give me more about future anthropology and archaeology in Star Trek.

5 wire-vine flower bracelets out of 10.

Season 2, Episode 6: The Doomsday Machine

1. Once again we start with something going mysteriously missing, but this time it’s a whole solar system that’s been reduced to rubble. And we’re finding a destroyed starship. The last survivor they find has been traumatized by being unable to help his crew or report to Starfleet. Once more we have an episode with a prime setup for a horror episode—if only that was Star Trek’s jam. UGH I WANT IT. Guess I’ll just have to write a version of it to make myself happy (or they could let someone make a Star Trek horror movie, preferably with the Kelvin universe cast).
2. Of course whatever is destroying solar systems is headed for Earth; that’s the way these things go. But I’m more interested in the parallel Kirk draws between the concept of a doomsday machine and the atomic bombs used in WWII (and the ones dotted all over the world now). He says they don’t exist anymore, reinforcing the idea of Star Trek’s universe as a peaceful one, one where most species choose peace and diplomacy before violence. Where violence on a grand scale is the last option. God I wish the future of Star Trek was likely for us. I want this beautiful socialist utopia for humanity so much.
3. The planet killer looks like a space worm. The music it gets and the sound editing around it is really cool. It’s also interesting because it’s the antagonist, but it has no malice, no agenda. It’s literally just following the programming its creators gave it. And yet it’s one of the most massive threats they’ve faced yet. (It could also be argued that the commodore they rescue from the Constellation is the real antagonist here since he nearly drives the Enterprise to the same fate as his ship. Though it leads to one of my favourite Kirk outbursts. Get the hell off his ship, Decker!!!)

8.5 space worms out of 10.

Season 2, Episode 7: Catspaw

1. The setup of this episode is SO goofy. Scott and Sulu are down on a planet, haven’t reported in. The third member of their team gets beamed up, immediately dies. A disembodied voice (suggested it comes from the crewman’s dead mouth) says there’s a CURSE. A CURSE on the Enterprise. Okay I guess we’re going there.
2. I’M SORRY??? How do I not remember this episode AT ALL??? Lifeforms that appear as ghosts? That seem to be acting something like the three witches from Macbeth? A giant haunted castle? A black cat? Skeletons? Disappearing life signs? What the actual fuck. (I seriously don’t remember this episode and I would have thought I’d remember these Halloween-esque shenanigans.)

3. This is not what I had in mind when I said I wanted Star Trek and horror, and this episode is kind of a mess. I don’t really have many thoughts about it aside from bafflement. Sylvia is kind of amazing though. And the black cat that played the cat version of her gets top marks. But as a cat person and a black cat mom, I am biased.

3 Enterprises on chains out of 10.

BONUS: I remembered exactly one thing from this episode and it was Kirk’s bizarre pronunciation of telekinesis:

Season 2, Episode 8: I, Mudd

1. I take great solace in the fact that no one likes Mudd. That the only beings who dote on him are androids who don’t know any better as they have not encountered humans before. I hate Mudd so much. His punishment at the end of the episode is fitting.
2. I also find it interesting that once again androids have shown up in TOS but once more, they were created and programmed by beings who no longer exist, these ones coming from the Andromeda galaxy (a fact which seems to not be that surprising, even though all of Star Trek takes place in the Milky Way galaxy). It’s not until almost a hundred years later that humans create androids (ie, Data). It’s also interesting that these androids seek a purpose, so much so that they serve Mudd (though the fact that they later reveal they were using Mudd is hilarious). The androids we met before didn’t seem to seek a purpose, but we only got to see them at the end of their lives, when they started to develop choice and individuality. The fact that these androids are defeated by nonsense is my favourite thing about this episode. It must have been so much fun to act.
3. I can’t believe Mudd didn’t learn that you don’t get between Kirk and the Enterprise the last time they met. And then he finds himself dependant on Kirk and the crew to get out from under the androids’ control. HUH.

4 red flower brooches out of 10.

Season 2, Episode 9: Metamorphosis

1. Hey it’s Zephram Cochrane and it turns out he’s an bigoted asshole even though he created the warp engine and is revered throughout the galaxy! It makes me very angry that it makes sense that he would be so against a relationship with an alien. That he’s done such great things for humanity in the Star Trek universe but can’t get his head around the fact that humans and aliens can love one another. And then the Companion “becomes” human and suddenly he’s a-ok with it? Well, not quite a-ok, but much less resistant. LIke, I get it. But! I don’t know that I like it a whole lot. Yes the Commissioner couldn’t be saved, and yes the Companion is keeping her alive in way. But she can’t leave so it’s not really a life, and now Cochrane wants to stay because now he’s okay with the fact that she loves him and he says he loves her? I HAVE CONFLICTING THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS ABOUT THIS EPISODE APPARENTLY.
2. “I might even plant a fig tree”—bro, it doesn’t matter how good the climate is for growing things, you won’t get fruit from it without wasps.
3. The more I think about this episode, the more I think they could have done so much more with it. Having Cochrane be miraculously alive and not giving him a chance to marvel at what the galaxy has become? To see what his invention, his daring helped start? I’m thinking like Van Gogh on Doctor Who levels of emotional revelations here, but I guess that would have been too much for a man on TV in the 1960s. I also would have been more on board with the love story we got if the Companion didn’t have to inhabit the body of a human woman for it to progress. Would have been better if Cochrane had found a way to love her the way she was, to appreciate the connection they’d had for so long and move forward with that knowledge. I understand the want to end immortality, to grow old together and die, but who’s to say they couldn’t have found another way to achieve that? I dunno. Conflicted, like I said.

6 lime green coats out of 10.

Season 2, Episode 10: Journey to Babel

1. I love that Spock’s parents are the first family of the crew we’re meeting who aren’t dead (sorry, Kirk), and there’s family drama. Never would have expected Spock to be the one with drama honestly, and I remember watching this episode for the first time like !!! It was after the 2009 movie had come out, so I had a different perspective of Spock to bring to the party, but TOS Spock is so, so stoic that daddy issues were surprising—engaging, though. Didn’t think murder would be involved in resolving/progressing through the daddy issues though. I like Sarek a lot; he’s a very interesting character. I also really love Spock’s mom, Amanda. She’s such a sweet lady.
2. I think this is the episode with the most alien species featured so far. We always get a Vulcan, but we also have Andorians and Tellarites featured prominently, and several background aliens in the mingling scenes. Also there’s an Orion involved. Can really feel the multispecies status of the Federation in this episode, and it feels like a TNG episode, which is just solidifying some of the core feelings of Star Trek as a franchise.
3. I wish we’d gotten some more family time for Spock, Sarek, and Amanda, but it makes sense that we didn’t, and that the moments we did get were subdued. Spock’s conflict about helping his father after not speaking for 18 years is still obvious, as he refuses to donate blood until Kirk is on the bridge again, using regulations to keep his distance. He doesn’t go until he’s forced and Kirk nearly injures himself worse. He insists it’s the logical thing to do, but the logic is giving him a place to hide. And we don’t see a ton of progress in Spock and Sarek’s relationship—they barely talk, even after Sarek’s surgery is a success. It’s a fascinating interpersonal drama in the midst of a bid for chaos and profit by the Orions. No matter how quiet they are, these character moments are another integral part of what makes Star Trek so awesome and why I love it so much.

9 fake Andorian antennae out of 10.

Season 2, Episode 11: Friday’s Child

1. I always like when Scotty’s in command of the Enterprise. Other than Kirk, he’s the one who knows and loves the ship most, and he always does his best to do what is right in the position of power, no matter how temporary it is. Leaving to attend the distress signal while the team is still on the ground is what the rules tell him to do, but it’s also what Kirk probably would have done. I really wish we got more Scotty in TOS overall. I think he’s tied with Bones for my second favourite character in TOS. He also shows just how smart he is by spotting the fake distress call for what it is. Being in command can’t be easy and Scotty does it well.
2. McCoy accidentally claiming the kid as his is hilarious, especially the way he acts around him after he’s born.
3. The clothes the Capellans wear are really… something. And are those ponytails their hair or part of their hood things? I have so many questions. Eleen’s dress and hairdo are top-notch though. The way her costumes moves in the wind is gorgeous.

6 handmade bows out of 10.

Season 2, Episode 12: The Deadly Years

1. We got ourselves a mysterious rapid-aging storyline! And it’s spreading! The aging makeup is bad but also kind of funny. I imagine it looked way better out of high-def, but it’s rough. HOWEVER the actors all go ham with their body language and do a really good job acting old. Why does McCoy’s accent get a little stronger when he’s old though? That’s weird.
2. This episode is harder for me to watch now that I have two grandmothers who are both getting older and starting to act older. It’s hard to watch people deteriorate at the normal rate, especially when you care about them, and I can’t imagine what it’s like for the unaffected members of the crew to watch Kirk and the rest of the landing party aging so rapidly. And I really can’t imagine what it’s like for the landing party to feel themselves slipping away so rapidly, especially such smart and capable people as those on the Enterprise. And for the crew to have to testify against Kirk’s ability to effectively command the Enterprise… This episode is definitley dealing with some difficult thoughts and feelings. The competency hearing scene is so, so hard to watch, and really sad, because aging is inevitable for all of us.
3. Kirk’s return to the bridge in the knick of time and using the broken code to transmit a message he knows the Romulans will hear and using the Corbomite Maneuver from season 1… what a cleverly written turn. Callbacks within the episode and the show as a whole… bravo. This commodore is also quite awesome, only trying to do what’s best for the ship and the affected crew.

7 eyebrow wigs out of 10.

BONUS: I am now a year older than Kirk in this episode and at the end when he gets a twinge of back pain… I feel that.

Season 2, Episode 13: Obsession

1. I have exactly one thought about this episode and that’s that obsession/revenge storylines are really not my cup of tea, but if I’m going to watch one, it’s not going to be this one, it’s going to be the Futurama episode “Möbius Dick.”
2. This episode isn’t bad, per say, it’s just really not my jam and I don’t think Kirk would put his obsession and revenge above the lives the medication they’re supposed to be delivering would save. I know everyone has the potential to get obsessed, but I think Kirk would have been more likely to go after the creature/life form/thing in a shuttle on his own while the rest of the crew went about their duty. Sort of like how he puts himself at risk in the climax of the episode. I know it’s important to show character flaws but this one feels… like it doesn’t quite fit, based on what we know of Kirk.
3. Okay so I had more than one thought.

5 giant bottles of blood out of 10.

Season 2, Episode 14: Wolf in the Fold

1. We have another wild episode, folks. A hedonistic society, Scotty suspected of multiple murders, a seance-type thing, foggy streets, gothic vibes… I kinda dig this one, but damn, poor Scotty. Especially because if he is doing it, he doesn’t know why or how and doesn’t remember anything about the murders. Scotty is too sweet for this.
2. The investigator guy is annoying as hell. He’s made up his mind and won’t hear anything else because HE’S FUCKING GUILTY.
3. I’m not sure how I feel about the creature going after women because they are more easily/more deeply terrified, but I love the idea that Jack the Ripper was an alien and that an alien species is responsible for various mass murders throughout history. Sometimes it’s nice to think a human might not have been responsible for an atrocity. They were, of course, but sometimes it’s nice to think there might have been something else responsible.

5 itchy tinsel skirts out of 10.

Season 2, Episode 15: The Trouble With Tribbles

1. Though I am well aware this is kind of dumb episode, it is my absolute favourite episode of TOS just because of the tribbles. I love me some fuzzy little guys, and these are prime fuzzy little guys. Meaning this episode is my favourite for the same reason Return of the Jedi is my favourite Star Wars movie: fuzzy little guys. Look, I was a kid the first time I saw this episode and Return of the Jedi. Of course I love the fuzzy little guys. I also collect stuffed animals, I think tribbles and ewoks might be why. However, unlike ewoks, I can’t really explain why I love tribbles so much, but they’re literally just fuzzballs. They don’t have a face; they just make a cute noise. Although, since cats can keep tribbles away/keep their population down, and I’m a cat person, that might also have something to do with it. I dunno. I just love them.
2. This episode is basically Kirk trying to annoy a bureaucrat while keeping Klingons and Starfleet happy while his crewmen brawl with Klingons, the trader foists tribbles onto everyone without telling them how to keep them from breeding, McCoy and Spock try to study tribbles, and the tribbles get into the wonderful important grain. No wonder he has a headache. There’s no real antagonist other than the man who poisoned the grain and Cyrano Jones causing trouble; this is more of a slice-of-life episode and I kind of really wish there more of these.
3. Star Trek has always had a combo of serious and silly episodes, and both can be brilliant. I think the silly episodes tended towards brilliant when they were more like this, the slice-of-life method. I’m not calling this episode brilliant per sey, but it’s low-stakes and funny and cute and it’s fun to watch. Not to mention the moment at the end where they tell Kirk what the did with the Klingons and everyone laughed is just… it’s pure joy.

10 fuzzy little guys out of 10.

BONUS: “Quadrotriticale” is my new favourite vocal stim and I will be saying it repeatedly for a few days at least. They say so much within a few minutes and my brain was like “yes good that’s fun to say” and now here I am mumbling it to myself as I write this.

OTHER BONUS: I wish they’d had the actors treat the tribbles more like animals rather than just things. They move them around roughly and hold them weirdly and it just doesn’t sell the idea that they’re alive.

OTHER OTHER BONUS: I love Montgomery Scott so much. He’s such a nerd. Everyone on the Enterprise is a nerd about something but he is SUCH a nerd.

Season 2, Episode 16: The Gamesters of Triskelion

1. The beginning of this episode is surprisingly intense, with the three Enterprise crew kidnapped and imprisoned. Kirk calls it slavery outright, and there are even implications of Uhura being raped by Lars, the thrall assigned to train her and who has been assigned to her. (Barf.) Lars adjusts his clothes when he leaves her cell after a lot of screaming and pained noises. While Star Trek has never shied away from talking about the harsher things, it’s usually in a much less obvious way. It’s never called rape or sexual assault outright, but it’s obvious that’s what they’re alluding too. And while Kirk, Uhura, and Chekov fight against their imprisonment and the things they’re forced to do as slaves, the intensity of the beginning fades into a rather ridiculous turn as they find out the Providers are actually just brains in a case who think they’re superior.
2. I kind of wish we got to meet more of the thralls, find out more of their stories. The thrall assigned to train Kirk doesn’t remember anything before Triskelion, which is heartbreaking, but I imagine some of the others would, and it would have been interesting to hear their stories. Kirk leading a thrall uprising would have been a much better episode I think.
3. I’ve always been deeply interested in gladiatorial history and would have loved to have seen this episode pushed more in that direction. I know they were limited by budget and time and everything but I can dream!

4 tinfoil bikinis out of 10.

Season 2, Episode 17: A Piece of the Action

1. While I understand the limits of budget, time, resources, etc. I don’t really like the Earth-parallel episodes. The chance of a colony or species or planet evolving so similar to Earth is so minuscule and it just feels… almost lazy? I would rather any story on a planet that looks different than Earth, especially since most of the Earth-parallel stories could be told through the lens of another species. One of the main lessons of Star Trek is that all life forms have things in common, that we’re not so different as we look. I understand this story is about a group basing their entire culture on books left behind by the Horizon, a ship that was there over 100 years ago, but it’s just… not my favourite.
2. I find this episode very boring, except for the scene of Kirk trying to drive the car. That is hilarious.
3. In fact, Kirk’s behaviour in the second half of the episode is amazing. He seems to be having a blast and it must have been fun to act. I don’t know much about the pop culture of the 1960s, but I wonder if there was a fascination with mafia and mob culture and that’s why they went the way they did with episode.

3 heaters out of 10.

Season 2, Episode 18: The Immunity Syndrome

1. “You find it easier to understand the death of one rather than the death of a million.” OOF, SPOCK. That line is so true of humanity. It was true then in regards to the world wars and the Vietnam and Korean wars, and it’s true now in relation to the genocides and mass starvations and exploitations taking place around the world, and the whole exchange with McCoy ending it “it might have rendered your history a bit less bloody” is SAVAGE. And correct. But OOF. Surge of emotion at that one.
2. There is so much sass in this episode. And it doesn’t help that when they call someone “mister,” which is because they call each other “Mr. Scott” and such, it makes them sound like they’re parents and they’re condescending to each other. And Spock’s “Thank you, Captain McCoy.” PRICELESS.
3. The massive single-cell organism is a cool “antagonist” (it’s just living, after all), as it’s actually a version of alien life we would be more likely to discover rather than intelligent humanoid/non-humanoid life. It’s also a little scarier as it can’t be reasoned with or convinced to do anything other than what it’s doing, which is surviving. It’s almost a shame they have to destroy it, but they’re right when they say as the cells replicated, they would literally consume the galaxy and, eventually, the universe.

6 shuttlecrafts out of 10.

Season 2, Episode 19: A Private Little War

1. I think one thing I wish the various Star Trek shows/movies did more of was show species and cultures evolving differently than humans and Earth. They sort of do that with the Vulcans, and the post-TOS shows are a bit better at it for budget/time reasons, but why do the people on this planet have flintlocks? Why did they develop along the same path as humanity did? They make a point in saying they could have developed to that point faster, and I understand having touchstones to measure a group’s progress, but it just… it’s so unlikely another group would develop the same weapons as humans. There’s no saying they would need weapons. Flintlocks, to my knowledge, were not developed for hunting purposes. And Kirk’s report on the place even says they’re a peaceful group! I realize this is a very nit-picky thought but it’s the one I’m having right now.
2. The wigs are never something to write home about but something about the wigs in this episode are particularly bad. Like atrociously bad.
3. I’m not a big fan of the power-hungry-witch-woman trope used in this episode. She literally drugs her husband and Kirk and is pushing the peaceful people towards violence, steals Kirk’s phaser, and betrays her husband’s people. And I don’t want to be mean, but the actress is really over-the-top and kind of grating to me. I do not like this episode really. It’s kind of a mess. Though it does show that human (and Klingon) influence usually leads to violence. AND THEY JUST LEAVE AT THE END? (I get it and they probably report to Starfleet but ???)

3 weird roots out of 10.

Season 2, Episode 20: Return to Tomorrow

1. Spock, Bones, and Ann are not freaking out nearly enough after Kirk’s body gets snatched for the alien mind. Kirk’s mind is just floating in a ball and they’re just calmly asking questions and I get the academic nature of their plan but I would be freaking out far more than them. Especially because the bodies don’t seem to be able to withstand the minds very well (Bones does start freaking out a little bit). At least they just want to borrow the bodies until they can build themselves new bodies, I guess. I’m with Bones on this one though—I would also be hugely skeptical of the whole situation. Like I get the potential for great things to come out of this and that this is exactly the kind of thing they’re looking for in space, but the idea of giving up control of your body scares the crap out of me.
2. And hey look, Bones was right, because the consciousness in Spock’s body wants to keep Spock’s body which means killing Kirk’s body and Sargon with it. And the woman wants to keep the human body so she can feel the way a robot body cannot. WHY CAN’T WE JUST HAVE A NICE DAY??? Also, it is deeply unsettling to see Spock acting so human.
3. This episode is an interesting one, in that I don’t really like it but it’s a good episode. The discussions of power and immortality (how would you act after millennia of being just a mind?) are subtle but effective, the characterizations are varied and complex (Sargon is the best, tbh), and the layered stories of romance and discovery and power dynamics are really quite something. I think the only reason I don’t really like it is because they should have listened to Bones more and because “human” Spock unsettles me so.

8 spherical receptacles out of 10.

Season 2, Episode 21: Patterns of Force

1. WHY DID WE NEED A NAZI EPISODE??? We’ve seen all this shit before (maybe they hadn’t in the ’60s) and there’s too much of it in the real world right now.
2. At least this time, they acknowledge it’s nearly impossible for this to happen on another planet.
3. Is this episode over yet? Like it’s fine, but I just do not care. The decision John Gil made was dumb as shit.

3 fisherman beanies out of 10.

Season 2, Episode 22: By Any Other Name

1. Aliens from the Andromeda galaxy just show up and are like “your ship is mine now and I am your commander” and Kirk’s like “the hell you are” and there is just a lot of information to digest in the first bit of this episode. And they’re called Kelvins. Which is hilarious in 2024 when we have a whole Kelvin timeline.
2. They can turn people into a compressed… shape. Which I find very unsettling. Are the people aware of what’s happening to them? Do they feel it when they’re crushed?
3. I love that the four remaining crew members beat the Kelvins by stimulating their senses, something they didn’t anticipate when they took on human form. Once again, humanity helps the crew of the Enterprise win out. Kirk flirting with the Kelvin woman is hilarious. As is her response to him. And Scotty getting drunk with another one is also pretty funny. This episode isn’t my favourite but it’s a good example of Starfleet and the Federation at its best: welcoming a new species, finding them a home, teaching them about humanity, about the forms they’ve chosen to inhabit.

6 strange bottles of very old scotch out of 10.

Season 2, Episode 23: The Omega Glory

1. Beaming onto another Starfleet ship to find uniforms and… salt? (it looks like they used road salt/rock salt for whatever the people dissolved into) would be so weird. Oh wait, it’s what’s left of the human body with all the water removed. They’ve been crystallized. I mean, most of what the Enterprise crew discovers would be weird to encounter, but I feel like this one would be extra creepy, especially if there were people you know on that ship. Also just the idea of such a massive vessel completely empty is unsettling. Just floating there in space… empty. (Also it’s kinda of funny because this is very much just the Enterprise set repurposed.)
2. The choice to make the “savages” white is an interesting one, especially as the “civilized” group are played by Asians and the culture is styled after East Asian ones. Both because it was (and still is) unusual in Western media, and because I wonder what the decision was behind it. Did they want to make white viewers feel a little uncomfortable by showing them how many other cultures/races might see them? Did they want to come up with a situation that would be extra uncomfortable for much of the crews of the Starfleet ships? These are the kinds of questions I wish I could ask Roddenberry and the show writers.
3. Ugh, this is another alternate history planet. I don’t like these very much because they don’t make a lot of sense. In a whole galaxy, we keep stumbling upon planets with the same conflicts as Earth? Like, I get that limitations in costuming and sets and effects and everything that mean some limitations in stories that can be told, and that there is some catering to the audience with stories like this one, which is very American, but like… I don’t like it? I’m glad these become less common episodes as the franchise continues because for all the interesting choices made they’re just kind of boring. Kirk’s speech about being able to tell good and evil by looks and about prejudice, etc. are important and good (especially in the 1960s) but it just feels a bit heavy-handed now and these are really not my favourite episodes.

4 tattered flags out of 10.

Season 2, Episode 24: The Ultimate Computer

1. It’s been fucking ages, but here I am, back again with my ultimate Star Trek re-watch because I’m writing some sci-fi and need that sweet, sweet space fun times. That being said, I have literally no memory of this episode, which means it might be one I find boring, but that remains to be seen. We’re playing some war games, which always makes me thing of the movie from the ’80s. And I love when the guy’s like “how do you know so much about this computer, Spock?” and Spock says, in the most Vulcan and polite way possible “because I read, bitch.”
2. OH MY GOD THIS EPISODE SO RELEVANT. They’re trying to install a computer to take the place of the captain and most of the crew of a starship and Kirk’s like “this is stupid” and he’s worried about it and god, just replace the computer with AI and there you have it. Nothing could ever replace Kirk as captain of the Enterprise. Nothing could replace the crew. The fact that it’s so easy for people to turn to AI now scares the crap out of me (I’m staunchly anti-AI until it doesn’t destroy the environment and plagiarize creatives). COMPUTERS CAN NEVER FULLY REPLACE HUMANS IN ANY INSTANCE. At least not yet. And not for a long, long time. You’d need actual artificial intelligence for that and we do not have that at all. Spock has the right of it: computers make excellent servants but starships run on more than just efficient and logical decisions.
3. I cannot get over the other captain blaming Kirk without even considering that the new and untested computer might be responsible for everything. What a dolt.

7 purple jumpsuits out of 10.

Season 2, Episode 25: Bread and Circuses

1. I love that we’ve got an episode with the main trio. I love their dynamic so much, and more every time I watch this show. Also love how they’re so intent on keeping the Prime Directive intact and are spotted almost immediately. Good job, guys. A+.
2. Again, I understand the practicality for civilizations running parallel to Earth for filming and stuff, and I understand it’s based on an actual theory, but like… it’s so not my jam. Not to say there can’t be good stories told within that framework, and not to say this one is bad either—I actually really love the concept of a world where Rome didn’t fall—but the whole point of Star Trek as a franchise is to explore strange new worlds. Again, I get why this is a reused tactic because the show is bound by the technological capabilities of the time, but ughghghghghghgh. AND UGH THE RANDOM APPEARANCE OF JESUS STAAAAHHHHHP.
3. The best parts of this episode of the conversations between Bones and Spock, 1000%.

5 sleeveless grey sweatshirts out of 10.

Season 2, Episode 26: Assignment: Earth

1. I adore how sinister they make the cat seem when they first beam aboard. Like… it’s just a man holding a cat, but with the right music and camera work, you immediately know something is Not. Right. with the cat. And probably the man too. Also the cat noises are hilariously bad. It sounds like a fucking monkey.
2. I don’t like time travel episodes. They are stressful for me (I think I’ve said that already), and the shenanigans in this one make it extra tense. I feel like that was intentional here but STILL. And like, I’m sure this was a more impactful episode when it aired, but I just… do not really care that much. If it had been made later, I would almost say it feels like a launch of a spin-off, based on how much time the episode spends on Seven and his mission. Kinda dig the Men in Black vibes Seven has too.
3. I adore that the episode, and therefore, season 2, ends with a “live long and prosper.”

6 sparkly cat collars out of 10.

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It took me way too long to finish season 2, but in my defence, I get distracted easily with shows and movies and I’m a mood writer and gotta keep my media vibes aligned with what I’m writing at the time.

See you in Season 3, and hopefully with more regular updates!

Take it easy, hot dogs. 💙

And, if you like what I write, please consider supporting me!

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all screencaps are from trekcore.com