vampires, spaceships, and fantastical worlds—the tales of L.E. Teetzel

Welcome!

Listen. I’ve been in and out of a rough patch for the last few months and I reached a point last month where I just… let myself stop caring about the stuff I told myself I had to do. Like this newsletter. I knew September’s was going to be late, and then it got later and later and later so I just said fuck it. So you’re going to get two months in one and I’m going to not let myself feel bad for missing a month.

I will let myself feel a little bad about not getting this out yesterday though.

October and September in the Rearview

So I don’t know exactly what set off the rough patch, but I do know that in September it started to get bad to the point where I knew I needed to make some changes. This included upping the dose on my SSRI, which my body is still getting used to, and reintroducing some more physical exercise into my routine. When I struggled with that, I kind of gave up for a while, and my anxiety got worse. And, for the first time in a long time, I started to say mean things to myself. I could feel an anxiety attack looming—I haven’t had one in years—and knew I really needed to change some things. But first I needed a break.

So I gave myself permission to not worry about any of my projects for a while, to not do anything for a while (except what I had to, like work and stuff, obviously). This felt supremely wrong and I struggled but I just kept telling myself it was fine, even if I didn’t really believe it. Eventually, I tried telling myself that relaxing was the thing I had to do. I had to start feeling less scatterbrained and find a way to get more stuff done and relaxing right now, divorcing myself from everything that was making me feel like a squirrelly mess, was the first step in doing that. Is this a healthy way of combatting a tendency to attach self worth to productivity?

No idea. I’ll definitely be talking to my therapist about it, but it worked well enough that I was able to relax and devise a new routine to try that would encompass all the habits I’d been trying to work towards for a long time.

Of course, I also got rather sick for the first time in a long time like two days after I started the new routine. I’m still stick now as I’m typing this, but this turns out to be a pretty good opportunity to remind myself of two mindsets I’m trying to incorporate into my life.

The first I’ve mentioned before: Making decisions on how I’m going to spend my time with intention. I know this sounds kind of obvious, but it’s something my therapist and I have been working on. I have a lot of hobbies and it’s easy for me to start to feel overwhelmed, so I’ve been practicing being intentional about how I spend my time. Like, deciding to wake up earlier so I can dedicate an hour before my day job to writing. And deciding that in my downtime today I’m going to crochet, and tomorrow I’ll play video games. I don’t know how many people struggle with stuff like this, but while sick I’ve had to actually say to myself “You’re sick. You have to get better before you can do anything so you have to rest.”

And that leads into the second mindset: Consistency is important, but consistency doesn’t have to mean 100% of the time. Does it suck that I’d just started my new routine and then got sick enough that I couldn’t really continue for a little bit? Yes, absolutely. But I’ll start again when I feel better. I will get sick again or have days where I just can’t. I’m human. I will consistently show up to this new routine because I know it will make me feel better, help me accomplish more, and keep me on track to keep writing and putting my writing into the world.

But yeah, right now I’m still sick and I feel awful, but we just gotta keep going.

Over the last two months I also applied and got into a convention next November that I’ll be selling my books and crocheted stuff at (literally can’t remember if I mentioned this already or not but there will be more details on that soon), and I got to visit my mom and stepdad in New Brunswick for a week. They have a litter of stray kittens who live in the bush and the mama and papa cats still hang around too. They’re trying to get the cats caught so they can be checked over by a vet and fixed, but they’re all too skittish. But god they’re cute. I spent a lot of time sitting outside watching them. It was very relaxing. Also relaxing? Not having to cook for yourself for a bit.

From the Story Files

Gravity Well is limping along, but the end is in sight. I’d hoped to finish it by the end of October so I could get it published by the end of the year, but the first draft isn’t quite done yet (I hate getting sick). Still going to try and get it done and out by the end of the year, but as of today, November 1st, I’m starting the first draft of the sequel to An Errant Ray of Sunlight:

A Burning in the Blood.

From November 1st to January 31st, I’m going to attempt to write 1000 words a day so I have at least 91,000 words done. Hopefully that’s the entire first draft. Because I want to get it into your hands next year.

We’ll see how it goes but yeah, that’s the plan! I’m very excited to finally start digging back into the world of the Ridge City Clan, and I’m excited to challenge myself to get the book done and out as fast I can while still being proud of the final product.

Clearly my track record of sticking to my self-imposed deadlines isn’t great, but that doesn’t mean I should stop trying to get better at sticking to them. Especially if I want people to actually be able to read my books. I write for myself and publishing my books is for me too, but it’s always awesome when people enjoy the stories you’re telling too.

Follow my journey drafting A Burning in the Blood on Instagram!

In My Eyeballs and Earholes

Books

I’ve read a lot in the last two months. I mean, I always read a lot, but the last little bit has really felt good when it comes to reading. I’ve finally stopped feeling like I have to finish books I’m not enjoying and reading before bed has once again become a habit I hate breaking which means I’m looking at my phone less and sleeping better (usually) so it’s a win-win-win.

In September, I read Mary Roach’s new book, Replaceable You, which was, as always, an enjoyable and informative romp. No one writes nonfiction like her and I will devour every book she writes with enthusiasm. Stiff is still my favourite of hers, but they’ll all good and this one didn’t disappoint. I also read the last of Ashley Poston’s romances I hadn’t gotten to yet (also her newest), Sounds Like Love. I love her books as they all have a little speculative twist and they all make me cry, which is the mark of a good romance for me.

And speaking of romance, I read One Golden Summer, This Summer Will Be Different, and Every Summer After by Carley Fortune in September (and Meet Me At the Lake in October) who is not only Canadian and writes about places I recognize, but managed to make me sob every time and wrote characters who, in little ways, all felt like pieces of my soul. I can’t wait for her next book, which comes out the day after my birthday.

I also read When Among Crows by Veronica Roth (love love love this book; had started it before but got distracted, cannot wait for the sequel), The Long Walk by Stephen King (very very good), andGhost Eaters by Clay McLeod Chapman (not sure what I expected but deeply weird and creepy and still not sure if I liked it or not) in September.

I read what’s currently published of the Wayward Children series by Seanan McGuire in October (ten novellas I think). I adore this series. The first six or seven were rereads and I was happy to finally catch up before the next one comes out in January. I also read the three short stories she wrote for the series. My favourite books in the series are (right now) Every Heart a Doorway, Down Among the Sticks and Bones, Come Tumbling Down, Lost in the Moment and Found, and Mislaid in Parts Unknown. And keeping with the spooky vibes, I read Hollow by Taylor Grothe and was blown away. Super creepy and spooky and unsettling and oh my god did it hit home. The protagonist, Cassie, has just been diagnosed autistic and has generalized anxiety disorder, and while my autism and anxiety are very different from hers, a lot of the feelings she has around both really hit home. Such a good read.

The other standout for the month was The Enchanted Greenhouse by Sarah Beth Durst, which is the follow-up to The Spellshop which I read last year and adored. This one was cozy and whimsical and perfect and I never want to stop reading about the cozy pockets in this magical world.

Rounding out the month were There’s Someone Inside Your House by Stephanie Perkins (good but not my fave), andCrypt of the Moon Spider by Nathan Ballingrund (extremely weird, not sure if I like it or not but I will read the other two novellas in the trilogy when they come out).

Movies & Shows

I have not watched much the last two months. Little bit of X-Files and Supernatural and lots of YouTube. Rewatched Practical Magic, Memoirs of a Geisha, Sister Act, and Stargate, and watched Mamma Mia! and Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again with my mom because she hadn’t seen them before. I’m disappointed I didn’t end up watching many horror movies like I usually do but like I said, I’ve been very out of sorts and struggling lately. I definitely need to have a movie day at the theatre again soon and even more movie days at home.

Video Games

It’s been Dreamlight Valley all the way.

Except when I picked up Animal Crossing New Horizons again on a whim and then a couple days later they announced an update coming in January 2026—like, WHAT?

Between that, the Dreamlight Valley expansion and updates coming in November, and the fact that I just picked up PowerWash Simulator 2, my cozy games are sorted.

I also grabbed Dispatch which I am stoked to play.

Music & Podcasts

TWRP’s new album, The Longest Weekend, came out and I’ve been listening to it so much. On repeat. I only skip one song on it and not even all the time. It’s so fun. “Language of Love” is my favourite song, followed closely by “Starting From Scratch” and “Day Trip.”

Also been listening to The Life of a Showgirl a lot because I got it on cassette to listen to in my thirty-one-year-old car. “Opalite” is my favourite song on the album, but this one is pretty much no skips for me as well.

Parting Thoughts

There’s a lot of bad shit going on in the world and a lot of tough shit going on in my brain and I’m struggling but getting through it. We have to take care of ourselves so we can take care of each other and make the world a better place and while I’m still an optimistic person at heart, some days are harder than others to feel like me. If that makes sense.

Anyway, I hope you’re all doing well and taking care of yourselves too!

That’s it for this month! Take it easy, hot dogs! 💙