three-thoughts retrospective: dino day

Say what you want about the older movies vs. the new—I love all the Jurassic Park/World franchise movies for various reasons. They’re fun and who doesn’t love dinos??? I’ve loved them since we did the first dinosaur unit in grade school (I want to say grade 2 but I could be misremembering—it was a long time ago), and I’ve never lost my fascination with them and love of them. Part of me still wishes I’d become a palaeontologist but since I don’t do well in the heat, that probably wouldn’t have gone that well anyway. Maybe in another universe I study dinosaurs.

Anyway—to the movies!

Jurassic Park (1993)

Okay but seriously HOW does this movie still look so good? (I know the answer: it’s practical effects.) I love me some good CGI and I love that it allows movies to achieve things they wouldn’t have otherwise been able to without putting actors in danger and risking injury or even their lives. I love that CGI can achieve magical and/or alien worlds. I love that digital artists get a chance to shine through CGI. But the movie industry really takes advantage of CGI and overworks those who work creating it. Which sucks. And CGI, as much as I love it, will never outshine practical effects completely, and this movie is evidence of that. The fact that the actors can touch the sick triceratops. They are actually faced with a massive tyrannosaurus rex. Nothing will top that and god this movie SHINES. It’s over 20 years old and sure some of the effects are showing their age, but not the practical ones. It’s so, so impressive.
Nedry, the only true villain of this movie, is so unlikeable. He has zero redeeming qualities and his carelessness and green nearly get so many people killed. I hate him more each time I watch this movie.
I think my favourite part of this movie (aside from the t-rex and raptors, obviously) is Dr. Grant’s journey from hating and being super uncomfortable around kids to feeling protective towards them. Maybe it’s only Lex and Tim, but the scene with them sleeping in the tree and getting woken up by a brontosaurus eating is just CHEF’S KISS. It’s adorable and sweet and a nice little break from the terror. (I used to be terrified of this movie.)

8 hatching raptors out of 10.

The Lost World: Jurassic Park (1997)

You know what? Up until the last act in San Francisco, I really like this movie. I like getting to see more of Dr. Malcolm, especially with his daughter (who is awesome) and his girlfriend (who is also awesome). In the first movie, he’s very cocky and a little insufferable at times, but here we see him a little humbled by the fact that no one believes him in regards to what happened on Isla Nublar. It really is great character development.
This movie also just shows how absolutely fucking stupid people in this universe are. Hammond included. The line from the first movie—”Your scientists were so preoccupied with whether they could that they never stopped to think about whether they should.” (or whatever it actually is)—could be the tagline for the whole franchise. None of the stuff that happens in this movie (or any of the others) should have happened but people are so keen to get themselves and/or many other people killed just to see and/or make money off of dinosaurs that they just keep doing dumb shit. Like going to the island to retrieve the dinosaurs to bring them to populated centres. And stealing their babies.
The mobile lab thing they bring to the island is really freaking cool. That’s it.

6.5 baby t-rexes out of 10.

Jurassic Park III (2001)

SPEAKING OF DUMB: Why would you go paragliding or whatever it was next to islands that are now widely known to be full of dangerous animals? Why would you put yourself and your girlfriend’s son at risk like that? AND WHY WOULD YOU LIE TO DR. GRANT??? Like I’m sure they could have convinced him to help if they’d just told the truth from the beginning. Or at least got him to exert some influence to get the government to help. Or just get Dr. Sattler to call the army like she did at the end of the movie to hunt for the kid.
I don’t dislike this movie as much as a lot of people, but I do wish the focus had been more on how the kid survived on the island. I would have loved to have seen him find his way to the point when we meet him, when he saves Dr. Grant. I know why they didn’t do that, but that’s the kind of stuff I want to see.
Also, ONCE MORE SPEAKING OF DUMB: WHY WOULD YOU TAKE THE RAPTOR EGGS? This is the dumbest part of this movie, to be honest. But people in this universe (and our universe, let’s be real) are so dumb so much of the time that I really shouldn’t be surprised.

6 stolen raptor eggs out of 10.

Jurassic World (2015)

While the whole idea of actually going through with the park after all that’s happened in the past just proves my point that people in this universe are so dumb, I have to admit that I would also be dumb in this universe, because I would definitely want to see dinos up close. Especially the baby ones because they give me cute aggression real bad. There’s a whole ethical discussion to be had about creating creatures solely for entertainment, but they do handle that a bit in the second movie, but honestly, I don’t think these movies really need to handle that stuff. These are fun action movies where the people fuck around and then get to find the fuck out. But yeah, I’d want to get up close and personal with a dino and I would 1000% die.
Blue is the star of the sequel trilogy and I love her so much. I also really love the focus they show on how Owen and Barry interact with the raptors and how much they respect them as living, intelligent beings. Showing the raptors working as a unit is also really cool. It’s impossible for us to know if this how it would have actually been when raptors were alive, but it’s cool regardless of what the truth might be.
I have to give kudos for the smooth way they covered why the dinosaurs look different than we know they probably did. Since the first movie came out, a lot of discoveries have been made, including that some species of dinosaurs look way different than we thought they did back in ’93. But since these dinosaurs are clones and their DNA was filled in with that of various other creatures, the franchise has a built-in reason to keep them looking a certain way. Or to cover any new discoveries that are made. And Dr. Wu flat-out says that they didn’t care about accuracy/truth. They wanted to scare and thrill people. It’s a quick moment and easy to miss, but I really like that they put it in there.

6.5 gyrospheres out of 10.

Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom (2018)

I’ve seen people talk about how featuring a human clone was a dumb choice and a bunch of other stuff like that but, you know what, if you’ve already got cloning technology capable of making the incredible dinosaurs we see throughout the films, it’s inevitable that human clones would be made. Yes, this brings up more ethical considerations, but that’s the point. Hammond and Lockwood split ways over Lockwood crossing this line, and it shows us where the line has been drawn. It’s okay to clone and use dinosaurs because their creatures, but cloning humans is too far. Probably especially cloning humans without their knowledge. The fact that Maisie doesn’t know she’s a clone of her mother is arguably just as bad as cloning her mother in the first place. But it also helps to highlight the ethical issues of cloning the dinos and then, as the first act of this movie shows, leaving them to suffer and die rather than risk human life to save them. It’s only greed that ends up saving some of the dinosaurs. This message might be too heavy-handed for an action movie, and I don’t think they needed to go this way, but since they did, I think the parallels between Maisie and the dinos was a smart way to highlight the ethical dilemmas this movie deals with.
The first act of this movie is so freaking sad. When I saw it in the theaters, there were little kids crying about the dinosaurs being left on the island to die, and one little boy was sobbing when they showed the long-necked dino dying in the smoke and fire on the dock. I shed a couple of tears too, but that moment really hit me. These movies are geared towards a younger audience and they can really have an impact. Just reinforces what I’ve always known: movies don’t have to be super smart, arthouse filmes, or dreary and sad to mean a lot to and/or have an impact on people.
BABY BLUE FOOTAGE! BABY BLUE FOOTAGE! BABY BLUE FOOTAGE! (I love that raptor so much.)

6 baby Blues out of 10.

Jurassic World: Dominion (2022)

Just a quick note to say I’m watching the Extended Version of Dominion since I haven’t seen it and some quick googling told me it was worth it! I also don’t know exactly what, other than the prologue, was added, so if I mention something and you’re like huh? that’s probably why.

First off, I am here for the dinosaur apocalypse—or, more accurately I guess, a world where humans actually get to live with dinosaurs. There is so much interesting material to explore here, even beyond the ethical question of humanity’s responsibility to take care of the dinos or to just let live and adapt to the new world. Animals that are more deadly to us than anything living are a good consequence for humanity’s stupidity in bringing them back in the first place. But of course, because the humans in this universe are extra stupid, they’ve spread dinos throughout the world again, essentially forcing everyone to have to adapt. (Again, I say this knowing I would want to see dinos up close, maybe work with them in some capacity if I could.) I also really like that we get to see this new world in so many different aspects; from a writing and worldbuilding standpoint, they do a really good job of making this setting feel realized and interesting. They make it very clear that humans are also going to have to adapt, not just dinos. It’s SO FREAKING INTERESTING and I only hope that whatever new movies they make in this franchise stay in this version of the world. (And even though I would want to get close to dinos, if this world became real, I would just straight up not leave the house unless I had to. Which is… what I do now pretty much.) Also: I LOVE the shot of the parasaurolophuses running with the horses at the end of the movie and the pterodactyls flying with geese. Give me more of that.
I’m also down with the evil biotech company trying to take control of the world through genetic research and science because, frankly, that’s the least fictional part of this movie. Of course the guy with all the money is going to get hands on the dinosaurs to study and use their genetics. Of course they’re going to make more. Of course he’s going to kidnap the only human clone to study and use. Of course he’s going to use to the technology to create a crisis only he can solve. Of course he’s going to use Dr. Wu to make something bad (Dr. Wu’s desire to fix his mistake is a really lovely little bit of character development) and then manipulate him into staying at Biosyn. Of course he’s not going to realize that “Biosyn” is a terrible name for a company and basically tells everyone they’re evil. Of course he’s hiding his evil doings underneath good things (maybe it started with him wanting to do good, but I doubt it—the good is really just more of a side effect).
Honestly my biggest problem with this movie is some of the over-the-top action sequences, like Owen riding the motorcycle onto the plane and the whole dino chase throughout the city (though this is a minor gripe, since I like action, I just wish they’d kept some of the Mission Impossible–esque stuff out of it) and the fact that the two storylines with the OG cast and the new cast never really feel cohesive. I wish the two casts had spent more time together.

6 Betas out of 10. (What can I say? Of course I love that little raptor.)

I don’t want to hear anything about my ratings, okay? I love ALL these movies, even if most people think they’re not good. Sometimes you just gotta watch people be stupid and see dinos be dinos, ya know?

Anyway, I hope you liked my thoughts about these movies! I watched most of them while I was on vacation at my mom’s on a rainy day, which was very enjoyable. Watching a bunch of movies on a rainy day is my favourite thing to do next to reading with a cup of tea when it’s cold and rainy.

Take it easy, hot dogs! See you with another one of these soon! (Spooky Sci-Fi is almost done and I’m about halfway through TOS Season 2.)

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